Adjusting `type_caster<std::reference_wrapper<T>>` to support const/non-const propagation in `cast_op`. (#2705)


* Allow type_caster of std::reference_wrapper<T> to be the same as a native reference.

Before, both std::reference_wrapper<T> and std::reference_wrapper<const T> would
invoke cast_op<type>. This doesn't allow the type_caster<> specialization for T
to distinguish reference_wrapper types from value types.

After, the type_caster<> specialization invokes cast_op<type&>, which allows
reference_wrapper to behave in the same way as a native reference type.

* Add tests/examples for std::reference_wrapper<const T>

* Add tests which use mutable/immutable variants

This test is a chimera; it blends the pybind11 casters with a custom
pytype implementation that supports immutable and mutable calls.

In order to detect the immutable/mutable state, the cast_op needs
to propagate it, even through e.g. std::reference<const T>

Note: This is still a work in progress; some things are crashing,
which likely means that I have a refcounting bug or something else
missing.

* Add/finish tests that distinguish const& from &

Fixes the bugs in my custom python type implementation,
demonstrate test that requires const& and reference_wrapper<const T>
being treated differently from Non-const.

* Add passing a const to non-const method.

* Demonstrate non-const conversion of reference_wrapper in tests.

Apply formatting presubmit check.

* Fix build errors from presubmit checks.

* Try and fix a few more CI errors

* More CI fixes.

* More CI fixups.

* Try and get PyPy to work.

* Additional minor fixups. Getting close to CI green.

* More ci fixes?

* fix clang-tidy warnings from presubmit

* fix more clang-tidy warnings

* minor comment and consistency cleanups

* PyDECREF -> Py_DECREF

* copy/move constructors

* Resolve codereview comments

* more review comment fixes

* review comments: remove spurious &

* Make the test fail even when the static_assert is commented out.

This expands the test_freezable_type_caster a bit by:
1/ adding accessors .is_immutable and .addr to compare identity
from python.
2/ Changing the default cast_op of the type_caster<> specialization
to return a non-const value. In normal codepaths this is a reasonable
default.
3/ adding roundtrip variants to exercise the by reference, by pointer
and by reference_wrapper in all call paths.  In conjunction with 2/, this
demonstrates the failure case of the existing std::reference_wrpper conversion,
which now loses const in a similar way that happens when using the default cast_op_type<>.

* apply presubmit formatting

* Revert inclusion of test_freezable_type_caster

There's some concern that this test is a bit unwieldly because of the use
of the raw <Python.h> functions. Removing for now.

* Add a test that validates const references propagation.

This test verifies that cast_op may be used to correctly detect
const reference types when used with std::reference_wrapper.

* mend

* Review comments based changes.

1. std::add_lvalue_reference<type> -> type&
2. Simplify the test a little more; we're never returning the ConstRefCaster
type so the class_ definition can be removed.

* formatted files again.

* Move const_ref_caster test to builtin_casters

* Review comments: use cast_op and adjust some comments.

* Simplify ConstRefCasted test

I like this version better as it moves the assertion that matters
back into python.