Replace error printing code gated by NDEBUG with a new flag: PYBIND11_DETAILED_ERROR_MESSAGES  (#3913)

* Update cast.h

* [pre-commit.ci] auto fixes from pre-commit.com hooks

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* Move definition to detail/common, change name, apply everywhere

* [pre-commit.ci] auto fixes from pre-commit.com hooks

for more information, see https://pre-commit.ci

* Rename debug_enabled in tests to detailed_error_messages_enabled