* fix: the types for return_value_policy_override in optional_caster

`return_value_policy_override` was not being applied correctly in
`optional_caster` in two ways:
- The `is_lvalue_reference` condition referenced `T`, which was the
`optional<T>` type parameter from the class, when it should have used `T_`,
which was the parameter to the `cast` function. `T_` can potentially be a
reference type, but `T` will never be.
- The type parameter passed to `return_value_policy_override` should be
`T::value_type`, not `T`. This matches the way that the other STL container
type casters work.

The result of these issues was that a method/property definition which used a
`reference` or `reference_internal` return value policy would create a Python
value that's bound by reference to a temporary C++ object, resulting in
undefined behavior. For reasons that I was not able to figure out fully, it
seems like this causes problems when using old versions of `boost::optional`,
but not with recent versions of `boost::optional` or the `libstdc++`
implementation of `std::optional`. The issue (that the override to
`return_value_policy::move` is never being applied) is present for all
implementations, it just seems like that somehow doesn't result in problems for
the some implementation of `optional`. This change includes a regression type
with a custom optional-like type which was able to reproduce the issue.

Part of the issue with using the wrong types may have stemmed from the type
variables `T` and `T_` having very similar names. This also changes the type
variables in `optional_caster` to use slightly more descriptive names, which
also more closely follow the naming convention used by the other STL casters.

Fixes #3330

* Fix clang-tidy complaints

* Add missing NOLINT

* Apply a couple more fixes

* fix: support GCC 4.8

* tests: avoid warning about unknown compiler for compilers missing C++17

* Remove unneeded test module attribute

* Change test enum to have more unique int values

Co-authored-by: Aaron Gokaslan <skylion.aaron@gmail.com>
Co-authored-by: Henry Schreiner <HenrySchreinerIII@gmail.com>